From Tennessee To Texas to Saudi Arabia

The next 4 days would be spent in the Cotswolds AONB (Area of Natural Beauty). We had picked out a cottage in Chalford, situated close to the middle of the places we wanted to visit while we were there. I had decided to rent a car, thinking I could handle anything after driving in Saudi Arabia for 6 months.

We packed up and headed out for the tube ride to Waterloo Station. Had a near catastrophe as we hopped on the tube at Leicester when the suitcase I was pulling split and tried to puke clothes in the gap. I think I got everything back together and rezipped as we started moving.

The Avis was located somewhere at Waterloo, and we spent about 20 minutes trying to locate it. The girls found a Lush store in the station and I stood guard over the bags while they shopped. I gave up and asked a station worker where the Avis office was. He pulled out his phone and typed it into Google. Uhm. Thanks, we’ll keep looking. He pointed us towards the best exit and we found it soon after.

I decided at the last moment that I didn’t want to try the manual on top of the RHD and wrong side driving, so it took a little longer than expected to get the paperwork done. I was given a Citroen DS5. I walked out to pull the car up to the door to load the luggage and BAM, English Driving Rookie Mistake. After confirming that there is indeed no driving controls on the left hand side of the vehicle, I made the walk of shame around to the right hand side and got in. I glanced up to make sure no one saw, but of course Greene and the kids were standing at the doorway having a good laugh. We filled every nook and cranny with luggage and made the uneventful drive out of London.

We stopped at the first services that we came to and got some cold cuts (and doughnuts) for the drive. Our first visit was to Oxford. We parked on the west side of town and walked through Cornmarket and High Street on the way to the colleges. There were a few Harry Potter sites to be seen, so we highlighted those as we walked around. We worked our way down towards Christ Church and stopped at the Old Tom for lunch. The old pub had excellent Thai food, but the kids were disappointed with the fish and chips. Once at Christ Church, the kids loved walking through the Great Hall and being on the steps leading to it (Harry Potter inspiration and actual filming locations).

We made our way back towards the car, visiting the covered market on the way. The butcher had a few field dressed deer on hooks, and every part of the pig was available to buy. I resisted bringing a boar’s head back with me on the plane. We crammed back into the car and headed out. The first red light had an old kooky college professor trying to maintain his balance on a bicycle without putting a foot down. The wiggling and shaking went on long enough for us to get some video.

We made the drive to Chalford through a steady rain. The weather overall had cooperated very well, with temperatures in the mid to high 50s and very little rain. We became intimately familiar with roundabouts, and I only had one mistake which was, uhm, thoroughly chastised by an extra from 28 Days Later in the car next to me. I made the mistake of trusting the GPS as we approached the village and turned on the wrong end of High Street. The right end of High Street is barely passable, with enough room for a single vehicle, with mirrors pulled in, to pass between parked cars and stone walls and precarious precipices. The wrong end is a donkey trail that drops straight down into the valley with vegetation kept trimmed back by those dumb enough to enter from the wrong end. We made it to Green Court, where we were staying, only to have to pass by and find an acceptable place to turn around. The driveway was angled for entry from the other direction.

I called our host Anna from the driveway and she came out to meet us. The cottage was attached to the main home and she only needed to round the corner. She welcomed us in warmly. We spent the evening getting settled in, learning about the area from several books and pamphlets that Anna had in the cottage, and eating fudge. Real fudge.

The next day started with a drive up to Stratford-Upon-Avon. We had breakfast at a Little Chef (sorta Shoneys, with an apparently effective work-release agreement with the local constabulary). The food was good and Cade went Full English again. It was a beautiful drive through Bourton-on-the-Water, Stow-on-the-Wold, and Moreton-in-Marsh. The traffic seemed to bottleneck as we approached our destination, so we grabbed a parking spot and headed out on foot. We walked through town and down to the Royal Shakespeare Theater. We strolled back up towards the Shakespeare Birthplace and spent a few hours in the museum and home. I was afraid the kids would be bored, but they enjoyed both museum and home and seemed to appreciate what they were seeing. We decided to make the trek to Holy Trinity to view the grave, then made our way back to the car.

We headed for Warwick to visit the castle there. We arrived late in the afternoon and had a quick lunch in the old horse stables. We bought tickets for the dungeon show at a specific time, so we let the kids flex their archery skills and toured the living quarters of the castle while waiting. The kids ate the kitschy dungeon tour up, I got beheaded, and Macy was found guilty in court for being from America. When we finished the dungeon tour, we headed for the ramparts tour entry, only to be turned away. It was getting close to dark, and there are no lights on the parapets. I was disappointed to travel so far and not get to do the walk, so Greene worked her magic with some East Tennessee charm and got the okay to “hurry through.” We (the old folks) immediately regretted it as the first tower was at least 82 stories tall with around 3000 narrow spiraling steps. After reaching the top and catching our breath, the view turned out to be worth it (kinda) and we pressed on after taking in the English countryside. The darkness then became a factor and we looked for the quickest exit. Unfortunately this involved going through the next tower (slightly lower than the clouds) and down another set of spiraling stairs. With no lights. Cell phone flashlights were lit up and we began the descent into the abyss. We had a nice walk back through the woods to the car lot and made our way back towards Chalford. We stopped at the Waitrose in Cirencester and bought our Christmas fare.

The next day ended up being my favorite drive. We headed to Bath, and the whole trek was what I imagined driving through the English countryside would be like, sans driving gloves and goggles. Driving through towns like Tetsbury and along walls of Cotswold stone was therapeutic. The last stretch joined up with a dual carriageway (divided highway), but the view of Bath from the ridge was breathtaking. It was only a short glimpse, and no picture was captured. Thus, the view has become more majestic as time goes on.

It ended up being the coldest and wettest day, but the town itself made the visit worthwhile. We stopped at a Krispy Kreme, then chased the rain away by buying some umbrellas. We viewed the abbey then went to tour the Roman Baths. We were all enthralled with the tour and the history surrounding the site. We walked through the narrow streets and had our first pasties for lunch. The girls stopped at a silver shop and bought some locally made jewelry. We then strolled up the hill to the Circus and over to the Royal Crescent. We Facetimed with Mom as we walked back towards the city center. We stopped at the pharmacy to pick up some essentials, and avoided a short hailstorm. The umbrellas came in handy for the trip back to the car. We all agreed that Bath would be a great place to spend a few days if we get the chance to return.

Our drive back was a little more adventurous as the GPS took us down some more donkey trails as we approached Chalford. We stopped at the cottage and asked Anna for the best place to get Chinese, and she recommended the one we had looked up prior to arrival. A short drive up Coppice Hill and through the village brought us to the Tesco Express and Manor Chinese Takeaway. We ordered our food, made a quick grocery stop, and headed back to the cottage. We settled in for A Christmas Story and ate some very good Chinese. We crashed early, as the long days were starting to catch up with us.

We spent Christmas Day at the cottage. Greene cooked a great Christmas breakfast of french toast and then started working on dinner after we had opened our gifts from Santa (who we had assured Cade several times would be able to locate us). We started the Star Wars marathon in preparation for The Force Awakens in the coming days. Candy, fudge, ham, blessed ham, and a little nip of Jamesons. It was a little too dreary for a decent walk around the village, but we did venture out a little. It was a relaxing holiday.